She was raised in a Christian home. Not only was it a Christian home but her father was the pastor of her church. She attended Sunday school every Sunday morning from the time she was a little child. She went to training Union on Sunday nights. She sang in the children’s choirs and then the youth choirs of the church. She even attended and graduated from the Christian school she was taught right from wrong. She was taught to live a moral life. She loved her family and always wanted to honor and please them. But something was wrong. For years she had tried to pretend it didn’t exist. But as time went by she saw more and more the fact that she was not attracted to boys.
She wanted to be. She tried to be. She even pretended to be. But the truth is she wasn’t. Slowly her suspicion of what might be became fear and fear became reality. She knew. She did not like boys.
This scenario takes place far more often than any of us realize. Young men and young ladies come to the realization that they have no attraction for the opposite sex. Their natural conclusion is to think they must be gay or lesbian. They are filled with confusion. They beg God to give them the attraction that is not there. They do not understand why they are different from everyone else. Their friends are having so much fun dating but they have no feelings for the opposite sex. They pretend they do. They talk to their friends as though they have the same feelings, but deep down they know they don’t. Sometimes they even make the decision to fake it. They end up in a bad relationship because they have no feelings for the one they marry. At other times they reach the conclusion that they don’t want to go on with their lives because they feel they are unable to be normal.
If this is a description of you, there are answers.
There are things that you can do to stop the feelings of guilt and shame and to clear up the confusion in your life. Let me share a few suggestions.
1. Do not assume that there is something wrong with you.
My dear friend not only is there nothing wrong with you but you were made perfectly by your God. Your heavenly Father knows what you feel and he cares. He also knows what you don’t feel and understands because he made you. Confess now that there is nothing wrong with you.
2. Don’t assume that you are gay or lesbian.
It seems like a normal conclusion, but it’s not. Just because you aren’t one thing doesn’t mean you are the other. Society would have you think that, but don’t buy it. Satan will put thoughts into your mind that you might be attracted to the same sex but that’s not necessarily true. When you learn the truth you will realize that the lack of an attraction to the opposite sex is not an indication of an attraction to the same sex.
3. Don’t experiment.
Be very careful to seek the truth first. When a person attracted to the opposite sex experiments with sexuality they are creating an appetite. The very same is true with those who are not attracted to the opposite sex. They are more comfortable around their own sex so they feel comfortable experimenting sexually. An appetite is created. You may not have felt a same-sex attraction, but you may have felt a same-sex comfort. That comfort could lead you to experimentation. Experimentation leads to an appetite. An appetite leads to lust. Lust leads to sin. Sin leads to death. The destruction of your life is not worth the experimentation.
4. Understand that God makes some people without an attraction to the opposite sex.
He does so because he has a special purpose for that man or lady. Yes, you were created special. Learn what the Bible has to say about you. There are clear answers in God’s word and those answers do not mean you were born with a same-sex attraction. God made you the way you are, but not the way Satan wants you to think.
5. Don’t be pressured by others to believe that you are gay or lesbian.
Society throws it in our face and that leads people from confusion to the wrong conclusion. The world concludes that you must be gay or lesbian so they pressure you to believe that you must be one or the other. You may be neither. Don’t be pressured by society into something that is not what you really are.
6. Be open to the truth.
Nothing is more important than submitting ourselves to the truth of God’s word and to the will God has for our lives. Happiness is not becoming what we thought would make us happy. Happiness is becoming what God made us to be. What God makes us to be may be contrary to what the world defines as happiness. Don’t let the world’s definition of happiness affect you. Trust God. Be open to his truth. Follow what he has for you in your life because he knows what’s best.
There are so many lessons to learn and I trust that you will take the time to do your homework. Born That Way Ministries was designed to help you. Take the time to learn what the Bible says about you. You do not need to live in despair and confusion. You can live in freedom and joy when you know the truth because when you know the truth the truth will set you free.