Why is Christianity Losing the Gay Marriage Debate?


This question is on the minds of many Christians today.  Have you ever wondered how Jesus would answer such a question about gay marriage?  As Christians, it would wise for us to think in these terms: “what would Jesus say?”  

Think for a moment, would Jesus perhaps answer the original question with another question?  Consider this, why should Christians debate gay marriage?  Before we try to answer a question and provide solutions to a problem, we must first correctly diagnose the problem.  Getting the right answer to the wrong problem is the wrong answer.  What benefit is there in providing solutions that do not resolve the real problem.  Frankly, there are no right answers to wrong questions.

We see many examples in the Bible where people asked Jesus tough questions.  His answers always addressed the root of the problem.  How would Jesus respond?  Do we not have enough examples from His life to know?  How many times did the Scribes and Pharisees try to trap Him by asking a ‘wrong’ question?  Jesus response should always be our response: “What saith the Scriptures?”  Our Lord always took an issue back to its root–its beginning.  If we don’t start with “in the beginning,” our answers will be built on a foundation of shifting sand.

Despite all our efforts, the concept of “gay marriage” is fast becoming an accepted fact, not only within our culture, but within our churches and even in our thinking.  Our children are growing up in an environment where gay marriage is no longer a farfetched possibility, but a stark reality. Everything we have used to combat the acceptance of gay marriage, to change it, even to swing the momentum has failed.

Scriptural support is on our side! God’s instructions are clear on the issue, so why are we losing?  To be very frank about it, we lost the moment we entered the debate. You see, the winner of any debate is the one who defines the terms, and the moment the other side accepts those definitions, the outcome is preordained.  Christianity has accepted the definitions of the world’s terms regarding “gay marriage,” “homosexuals,” and “lesbians” thus we were predisposed to losing the debate.

Once we accept the term “homosexual” as a definition of a person, we are admitting that a person can be a homosexual, that he could be born this way, that God made him a homosexual, that he has no choice in the matter.  In fact, by accepting this term we have allowed the possibility that a person is NOT a heterosexual.  Stay with me now, the Bible never makes such a claim.  

What would Jesus say?  In Scripture, God created a man and a woman, who then bore children that were either a man or a woman. These men and women are capable of homosexual acts, but God never says that a person is a homosexual.  For example, the word “sodomite” is a description of a person who chooses to perform perverted sexual behavior with someone of the same sex in exchange for something of value, but a person by definition is not inherently a sodomite.

Even when we accept the term “heterosexual,” by default we must then acknowledge that someone can be a “homosexual.” Since we have accepted these terms in our vocabulary, we have accepted labels and definitions for humanity that God never defined.  Therefore, our efforts are very much like trying to nail jelly to a tree—an exercise in futility.  

God created men and women—not homosexuals and heterosexuals.  Interestingly enough, these terms were first used in an 1869 pamphlet that was written   anonymously by a novelist and “sexual deviant,” known as Karl-Maria Kertbeny.  He used these terms in his argument against a Prussian anti-sodomy law!  Yet, Christians the world over now use his unbiblical terminology!  Again, why should we give validity to these erroneous terms?


The key to this argument for Christians is to define terms that biblically allow us to end the debate–a debate between the flesh and the spirit.   As long as our “argument” is defined by the world, we will lose—we are losing—to our fleshly desire to “win a debate.”  However, if we define the right terms, we enter an entirely new situation in which we have superior biblical, intellectual, and emotional authority.  A fleshly argument will never prove a spiritual truth.

There are two sets of terms that need to be clearly defined. The first set of terms is what God created us to be. That is simple! God created us as either a man or a woman—male or female (Genesis 1:27).  Period—end of argument!  It is so essential to get back to this basic fact.  Before we can clearly even know what we are truly discussing, we must start “in the beginning.”

It is much easier to teach the Biblical truth that a person is a man or a woman.  If a man says, “I am a homosexual”, how does the Christian respond?  With the simple truth: “No, you are a man. God created you as a man. God does not create homosexuals or heterosexuals. God created men and women.”   

Once that is settled, we can define the interpersonal relationships that God has ordained as holy.  There are three basic relationships that God may call someone to:

  • Marriage
  • Widow(er)
  • Eunuch

The last one may have surprised you some, though the first two are somewhat self-evident. Still, marriage is under attack.  Biblical marriage is defined only as between a man and a woman. This is why the “gay” community is so determined to redefine the word “marriage.”  This is critical to the “gay marriage debate!”  Biblically there should be no debate, but we have given credence to the arguments because we have unwittingly accepted the use of their terms.

A key element that has been missing from the discussion is the Biblical position of the last interpersonal relationship mentioned on the list above—the eunuch. Your first reaction may be to think that being a eunuch is not an interpersonal relationship at all, but it most certainly is…  In our culture, we only think of the word “eunuch” in the same sentence as the word “castration,” but that is only one type of biblical eunuch that God mentions.

The disaster of this entire “debate” revolves around a misunderstanding that is prevalent within Christian circles.  In essence, we believe that God has called everyone to be married—or more generally to have sexual urges towards the opposite gender.  Oh, not intellectually, but we believe this emotionally.  If a person doesn’t have what we consider to be “normal” sexual urges towards the opposite gender, we automatically think something is wrong.  Even Christians at that point, will label someone like that as a homosexual, if only mentally.  At the very least, we then determine that something is not normal with this person. With such a label and reputation, where would a person like this feel comfortable and accepted?  Right now, that would be the “gay” community—and that is the tragedy.

What if God, on purpose, created someone not to have these “normal” sexual urges?  What if God created such a person to be “married” to Himself and His work?  Is this not what Jesus taught?

Matthew 19:12 – For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother’s womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.

Jesus lists three types of eunuchs.  The first are eunuchs that are born that way—the natural born eunuch. The word eunuch in the Greek means to be “alone in bed.”  God created this individual not to have the so called, normal sexual urges towards the opposite gender. There are any number of reasons for this, but all of them involve a special calling to serve God in a capacity where having a family might actually be a hindrance or a distraction (1 Corinthians 7:32-35).  This individual’s interpersonal relationship is with the Lord!  This teaching was prevalent throughout history all the way from the early church fathers up until the 1800s, but it was lost.

The second type of eunuch involves a man making another man a eunuch. Yes, this may involve castration as we understand it, but there are other ways that a man can create a eunuch. Regardless, this individual can now turn towards the care of the interpersonal relationship with Jesus Christ.

The third type of eunuch is when a man chooses to be one. This might be an Apostle Paul who wished that the Christians in Corinth would remain unmarried like him so that they could serve God in a time of persecution and danger without distraction (1 Corinthians 7:7).  He even suggested that one get married only if (for the sake of avoiding sin) it is necessary. Today it’s vice-versa.

And there is the crux of the matter.  Because we have accepted the world’s definitions, we tend to believe that everyone is either a heterosexual or a homosexual.  Unfortunately, we then push people who don’t have the sexual urges they “are supposed to have” towards the only group that will accept them—the gay community.  In truth, these individuals are created by God to be eunuchs. They are men and women, but their purpose is to serve God in a way that many married individuals cannot. The so called “debate” then shifts: it is no longer a “gay and marriage” issue, but a “God and marriage” issue.

Our studies have shown that eunuchs are typically more compassionate, better able to disciple people, enjoy cultivating many strong relationships, and are more willing to sacrifice of their time, money, and love for the cause of Christ. They tend to be very zealous for the Lord and are often more free to devote their lives to the purpose for which they were created.

This simple truth has salvaged many lives that were heading towards, or who were already in, the gay/lesbian lifestyle.  Our ministry has had the honor of seeing hundreds of eunuchs find their calling, their purpose, and their acceptance in the Lord, and within our churches. We are pushing back against sexual perversion and seeing the momentum shift in favor of biblical teaching.  We are no longer debating the right or wrong of gay marriage, but because we bring the truth of the biblical eunuch to the forefront of a new debate, these individuals who would once head down that road towards gay marriage are now realizing their purpose in Christ. And we are winning!

If truth is going to win, we are going to have to change our vocabulary altogether.  The biblical eunuch revitalizes a truth that has long been absent as well as the ability to redefine exactly what it is we are fighting for: holiness.  In that, we seek not to win an argument with our nation, but to win its soul instead.

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