frequently asked questions


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First and foremost, don’t react.

Most of the serious damage done in relationships takes place when we react to something that goes against the grain of our beliefs. Most reactions are based upon our own personal discomfort with a situation. Jesus was the master of not reacting. When confronted with the woman caught in the act of adultery, his response brought about a wonderful ending. Had he reacted as we often do, he would have left the woman’s life in shambles, and the men who accused her would have accomplished their purpose. When a child confronts us with their concern over their sexual orientation, we must respond, not react.

How do we respond? In our experience we have discovered that the best way to respond is with God’s truth and with love. This needs to be done carefully and in a reasoned manner. “Throwing Scripture” at a child is a reaction. The Bible says, “For whatsoever things were written aforetime were written for our learning, that we through patience and comfort of the scriptures might have hope.” (Romans 15:4)

The purpose of Scripture is for learning not pounding. This is accomplished with two tools, patience and comfort. Many times a terrified child is confronted in anger by a fearful parent, only to receive scolding rather than comfort. Do not assume your child is pleased with their suspicions. They probably are not. Use the Bible as a means of helping them, not punishing them. Assure them of your love and desire to help them find the truth.

Mom, Dad, you may first need to learn these truths. Do not feel you must “fix” your child immediately.

Do not chase them away. Take the time to prepare yourself with the truth of God’s Word. We sometimes know the fact of a truth, but not the doctrine behind that truth. Arm yourself with what God says so that you can lead them to being set free by that truth.

Born That Way After All clearly presents the truth about the deception with which Satan has plagued so many regarding their sexual identity. It spells out Biblical truth that has changed many lives.

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First and foremost, do not abandon them.

The Bible tells us that, “A friend loveth at all times.” (Prov 17:17) What part of “all” would exclude your friend? Obviously, it would not. The test of friendship is not what someone does to make us uncomfortable, but in our willingness to love them in the midst of the most uncomfortable scenario. What better way to prove your friendship than to stick by that one who is facing a life changing struggle? To abandon them may be to abet them in their destruction.

You should be the friend who bears their burden in order to fulfill the law of God. Focus on their struggle rather than on your own personal discomfort. 

This friendship can be see by prayer and by equipping ourselves with the truth. Indulging their decision is not the behavior of a friend, rather arm yourself with the truth to bear them up in their confusion. Remember, they are dealing from an emotional position, therefore you must respond from the position of truth and love. If you do not know how to answer their questions, “Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.” (II Tim 2:15) While they struggle in the spiritual ER, be there to encourage them not to abandon the truth.

Born That Way After All clearly presents the truth regarding the deception with which Satan has plagued so many people regarding their sexual identity.  Using Biblical truth many lives have been changed by explaining the unique purpose God has for their lives.

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First and foremost, don’t panic.

Many Christians make rash decisions because they cannot find the answer to the questions they so desperately need. The first thing to remember is that God’s Word is truth. “And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” (John 8:32) It is important to find the truth in God’s Word, not within yourself. Do not allow your feelings or your fears to dictate your decisions. How can one know what the truth is? The truth is always found in God’s Word. “Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth.” (John 17:17) When you become clear about the truth of God’s Word, you will discover that God has set you apart for a purpose, then you can know the purpose behind your confusion. First, you must seek the Lord, then ask him to reveal it to you through the Scriptures. “And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.” (Matt 21:22)

Using Biblical truth, Born That Way After All explains the deception Satan is using concerning your sexual identity. These truths have helped others facing the same confusion to understand the unique purpose God has for their lives.

The question is not whether or not you are gay, but what does God’s Word say about not being attracted to the opposite sex.

Once you become clear on God’s truth, you can know the answer. A Christian cannot willingly “be” anything that is contrary to the written Word of God. Once you seek and learn God’s truth, you can be set free from your doubts and confusion and discover your true purpose along with God’s special promise.

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Sexual orientation is determined by the choices you make.  

God is not responsible for giving anyone unnatural sexual desires. James 1:13 says, “Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man.” It is clear that sinful desires cannot be of God. However, if someone has developed unnatural desires can they be changed?

The Bible teaches how someone’s sexual “orientation” can be transformed. “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”(Romans 12:1, 2)  

This passage is not promising that your same sex attractions will be transformed into an attraction to the opposite sex, rather that your attraction to that which is unnatural can be transformed into a life of chastity for God. So called, Reparative Therapy attempts to change one’s sexual orientation, while the Bible teaches that committing to God will change one’s desire from sexual perversion to sexual purity.

Sexual purity is God’s design for everyone. The Bible teaches that this can only take place within a Biblical marriage between a man and a woman. The only other option is to commit one’s self to a life of sexual abstinence for the honor of God.

God  makes special promises to those who are not attracted to the opposite sex yet remain sexually pure.  This promise is clearly explained in chapter four of the book, Born That Way After All.

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Born That Way Ministries helped keep our family together when our son thought he was gay.Clint W.

I stayed up until 2 AM reading. I almost cried from the excitement I had that God created me the way I am for a purpose!Joshua A.

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